There is a sign in Bitterne Post Office which says:

'Customers who require assistance should ask for help.'

I do not make these things up. And there was me, tap dancing, playing the alpine horn and blowing my nose loudly, thinking that was what it took. But not in Bitterne! They had thought ahead with that sign. Spent a good half hour in Barclays Bank, waiting for a friend who forgot me. They have good toys and free pens, if you are in Bitterne and need either. I popped into the irresistable Scoops of Bitterne, an Aladdin's cave of tat. Nothing to interest me today, usually I can spend most of R's salary in there in one go. It is worth a look next time you are there.