I am an artist. I have had my first taste of Photoshop and it is thrilling. I have taken some awful photos and made them into works of art. I have also had too much caffeine the last couple of days, as I normally don't have any and I have been on normal tea. So you might find my art an acquired taste. In due course I will publish some of my work here, but not until I have 'by royal appointment' stamped on the edge of each piece.

Today, I have been to Bitterne TWICE. First, for a swim and a quick retail therapy with Lorna, and then back for lunch with Jackie. I don't think I have done 2 trips to Bitterne in one day since we were moving house (that was to see the estate agents). The swimming was busy, it is ladies hour and just after hydrofit, so the pool is full of ladies for whom that is their only exercise. It means the average speed is negative, as you have to do so much tacking you end up going backwards. I have come up with a great theory to maximise the use of the pool, but when I ran it past the manager he was not convinced. See what you think:

Instead of lanes, you have levels. You provide the strong swimmers with diving equipment and they go down to the bottom and do lengths there. Medium swimmers have snorkels and hover just below the surface, whilst the slow lane is on the top. It all works really well, except that the pool is not an equal depth throughout, so you would have a potential jam at the shallow end, where all three levels join together. If you did it in the diving pool at the Quays it would work perfectly.

I also have another excellent storage idea that has not caught on. You know you have space in your lounge that is not used much - like in the middle near the ceiling? Well, you have 'pull up' cupboards into the room above, giving you more storage solutions, and utilising wasted space. If you needed all your room height in your lounge you could pull up all the cupboards (there would need to be a 'lock in open' option to avoid head injuries. This would not work if you needed floor space upstairs at the same time, but the only time I can see that happening is if we have tall people round downstairs and I am playing on the dance mat upstairs. That has not happened yet.

It would not work in a bungalow, and you would need to be on good terms with your neighbours to get it functioning in a flat.

I bought 2 pairs of trousers in charity shop in Bitterne today, the lady pressed the buzzer for help with the till before she made any fatal errors. Like pressing the 'exterminate' button instead of 'Enter'. Easy mistake if you do not have your reading glasses on.