Tourniquets for blood pressure are available on freecycle, a large quantity, in many sizes- including for large arms or thighs. This has to be one of the oddest offers yet on Freecycle. The donor asks that in your reply, you state what you intend to use them for. I mean, isn't that fairly obvious? For attaching tomatoes to trellises? How many uses can you find for such an item, and how on earth did this person have so many of said items to give away? If I was an NHS money person, I would be down on them like a shot. Probably been prowling around the wards at night, pilfering. Daresay they will be offering compression stockings next week.

I have had two pleasant days at work, teaching (obviously, as a day at my church work would never get the adjective pleasant). In Year 3, with the same charming bunch of children who are happy to accept me as a fruitbat substitute for their normal mega organised teacher. Seriously, I come way down the organisational heroes table at school. If I am the most organised person you have met, you need to spend some time with some other primary school teachers. I mean, one time, I forgot to take any shoes to work! And it was one of the only times the headteacher ever noticed that I existed - and she noticed, of course, my lack of footwear. We made rainforest noises with untuned percussion instruments, did some control ICT, some reading, a spelling test and two maths tests today. Yesterday was an English test, turning paper brown for old map making, more English, more reading, reading and drama about the environment and sprint time trials. Do you remember that excrutiating, or exhilirating afternoon from your childhood? Either chafing thighs and flapping arms, or a secure place in the school team and a time under 10 seconds for the 100m. Every adult is at one end or other of the sporting spectrum, there is no one who sits in the middle when it comes to memories of school sports days. My own memories of being 5 and having to restart the obstacle race over and over again because I couldn't balance the bloody beanbag on my foot are so excrutiating as to need hypnosis to get over. Horrid, horrid day. I had an allegedly evil, really evil teacher in the Reception year, and horrible memories, it was a dreadful epiphany for me and maybe my becoming a teacher is an attempt to make amends and to be a Miss Honey, saving other children from the doom of their childhood being scarred by Mrs Walker. Lets assume she's dead, shall we, as she was old and grey in 1978. At best, lets hope she is dribbling in a room that smells of wee with Jeremy Kyle on all day. Ha! A fate worse than death.

Glad to air those views globally. If Mrs Walker is reading this and my comments appear libelous, remember I said allegedly, won't you?