Sarah T came round yesterday and brought me some flowers, now she tells me she is knitting a bag. I shall commission her to knit me a vase for the flowers to go in. Today I went to the hospital to be told that my radioactivity was still a risk to mankind and so I have decorated the lounge. If I carry on this way I will be starting on next door. I listened to the Olympics all day and was surprised to hear the standard reached in ping pong. I never got off the radiator in the pingpong room at school long enough to play. And the Dutch won the women's hockey. Good on them. I was surprised also to see that my hockey teacher, Miss Bedford, was not featured in the British team (male or female, she was one of those teachers you were not sure about). No, I liked her, although she was strict and had a reputation, she somehow let me into the school hockey team. It is more an indication of the lack of enthusiasm and skill in the 120 or so girls in my year group than a endorsement of my skill. I played HB - no that's a pencil lead. LH, That was it. I gave up when Ursula Collignon hit me in the teeth with a stick during a sponsored hockey day. Anything I did for the school hockey team was purely accidental, whatever the outcome, the ball always looked shocked when I managed to get near it. I was spectacularly bad at netball, not helped by the teacher calling my name out wrong in the register on the first day, christening me 'Gay Kibbs', for which I have not yet forgiven her. Anyhow, I played the rubbish position near the back where it doesn't matter if you never touch the ball, and that ball used to laugh out loud if I caught it. So imagine my distaste and horror when some weird members of our church, asked me, a few years back to play netball, in my own time, for fun. I hope they went off and joined a netball playing cult. I don't think Jesus ever commanded us to play ball games.

Now, like most people who are not nobility, I struggle to 'get' the modern pentathlon. None of those sports are modern, and only the aristocracy can afford guns, horses and fencing lessons for their children. Absolutely the most elitist sport in the games, surely, if you need a pony, a fencing kit and a gun - not even the Crandons have all that lot in their garden, although if they stretched their family out a bit they could enter Jeremy on a llama. No, I think it is the most stupid event, worse than pingpong and should be dropped before more members of the royal family think the Olympics was designed for them. And what was the even like before it was dubbed 'modern'? Fencing is hardly a modern sport, is it, what did it replace, jousting? No, the modern pentathlon should involve skateboarding, kite surfing, that stupid sport where people run up walls and jump between buildings, and two others I have yet to make up, they are so modern. Spitting, maybe, or pancake tossing? And lawnmowing, that should be the national sport.

Competitions looking up! I entered a competition to win theatre tickets and a shopping spree for R's mum, Granny Mary, and was a runner up, so she and a friend are going to the Rose Theatre in Kingston upon Thames.