I am the proud owner of a bullet proof computer memory stick. It is not so much a stick as a bullet shape, and is attached to my keyring to avoid loss. It is waterproof, shock proof and bullet proof and has some software or something on it which can encrypt to a level that the US forces are happy with. Probably about the same as my literacy planning then. R bought this item for me, and I am worried he has plans for me I know nothing about which involve me signing up for military service. One of the USPs ( is that right - unique selling points) on the packaging is the totem pole design it has etched on it. If I was buying a memory stick for its ability to act as a bullet proof vest I don't care whether it has etchings of Winston Churchill, a dancing ethnic figure or Nigella. Can you imagine the talk in the trenches in the first world war? Ah, you'll be alright, mate, yours has got a dancing aborigine on it! and its bullet proof. Hold it over your head!

I was intending to cycle to Sainsburys today to be picked up by a colleage to go to a course and the two Robs swapped my tyres over for my bobbly ones to help in the slush and snow and ice. I suggested that they could be in a Tour de France back up team, but they were on a go slow and suggested that the Tour would be won before their guy had got back on his bike if they were involved. My neighbour then kindly offered me a lift to Lord JS and so when R got home tonight he took my unused bobblys off and put the road tyres back on. I seem to have suggested to a good friend that we do the Round the Island cycle ride for fun in the summer. What was I thinking? She called my bluff and said yes! Anyone else up for it? Girls only, boys welcome in support vehicle with Lucozade.

I was over excited about going on a course, as a part time and temporary teacher on lowly cover contracts and supply you don't really reach the top, or even the bottom of the list for when courses are being doled out. I had not been on one since 2000. So I was way too excited to be getting a free lunch and doodling in the sides of a handout. Especially a handout about statutory testing of 6 and 7 year olds, a practice I find immoral but armed with the facts and information, I can see how it is easy to make it part of the everyday life of the class and not a term and a half of practising. So I am looking forward to getting stuck in to reading conferences and fun work based on the topic we are doing anyway. The course was condensed ( demonstrating that it was too long to start with) and I got home by 2.30, so could pick H up after all! Of course she was disappointed to have me and not be going to her friend's as planned. A had her first craft club after school, run by Chris Davidge, who is a playworker in Thornhill and tasked by Southampton City council with helping Thornhill children happy through play. She came home very hyper and happy so he can tick that box!

H is just getting interested in texting, and has a conversation going with my brother about her upcoming trip to stay the night with them. She has found out how to swap the writing language to Spanish, much to my dismay when everything had a q in it. Like me, she struggles with predictive text, and for 'Angus and baby Niall' I showed her how to write N I ALL instead of the option of Nick, and A N G US instead of bogus. Bogus and Nick, her new cousins. She had given up on Niall and written 'and the other one'. On one of my memorable first texts to R, I wrote ' on the cup on way good'. I also asked Mark Robins if Ali was interested in buying a sex machine. If you know Ali, you know the answer. I was trying to sell her a sewing machine.

There is a huge hole in the floor in the corridor outside my classroom so tomorrow I am teaching in the hall, and have rearranged my curriculum to make the most of it, so we will be doing the measuring in metres objective, throwing beanbags and then seeing how far we threw them. We will also be doing dancing and gymnastics. I am quite optimistic about the outcomes of the day having given it some thought and worked out what to bring from my classroom to the hall and what to forget. Sadly can't bring the interactive whiteboard with me so will be working on a flip chart like the olden days.

Sometimes I think of my first teaching job, my first year, and just cringe - some of my lessons were awful, and I had a blackboard, for heaven's sake! And I can't sleep at night if I think about my teaching practices, especially the first one, where the children learnt almost nothing - as in, they almost learnt nothing - we were in the negative. Poor kids, probably all in prison now, I failed them so badly. Well, I was only there for 5 weeks so a little harsh. There was snow on the playground every day of that teaching practice and we went in every day. But that's Sheffield for you. Used to the snow up there, they are. Not like us southerners who have never seen it before.

We had another day off school on Monday and went into town and did the IKEA creche again - an hour of free childcare - man, if only they had opened 9 years ago I would have been down there every day with my children! On our last visit on Friday, the lady in the creche asked why they not at school, and she asked again on Monday - I expect the EWO to be banging on my door next time I take them. The girls were great in town, relatively patient and fun, spraying perfume samples in Boots, that kind of fun, and we had tea at Pizza Express with Tesco vouchers. We planeed to go in the holidays but the sickness meant that was not an option, so R met us and we had a family tea out, a bit like Sophie in The Tiger who came to Tea. It was a close thing, being a family tea, as R had got his Italiam restaurant head in a muddle and went into ASK, and then did not have a clue where P Express is. It is in Oxford Street, and you can use Clubcard deals to pay for food, so our meal came to an appetising £8, which was the drinks bill.

I went out eating on Saturday, to El Sabilo in Winchester, a tapas place which we first went to for Andrea's 40th birthday Salsa night. We took the Gales, and had a fun evening eating loads. I have booked a lunch date with Andrea there in February and so will soon qualify for a loyalty card. If anyone wants to take me out for lunch, or dinner, just ask and I'll be there.