Pitterselfdrive.co.uk

It said on the back of the van.

Pitter is a local self drive van hire company, which makes sense.

But what if it was actually a company called Pitter's, which lent you 'elf drive' vans. How cool would it be to have an elf drive you around Southampton?

Lots has been going on for me this last couple of weeks, including some collosal public transport journeys. Girls and I travelled by bargain train to Claygate for the bank holiday weekend, via Waterloo, which all went really well. H needed the toilet in between Basingstoke and Woking, then A wanted a go, so training them well for spending the whole journey in there to avoid the ticket inspector.

We travelled by train to Clandon, to meet up with cousin A and sister in law A to check out a National Trust park. ( We don't have a B team, they all begin with A.) I marched the mile up the road to the park while A took mum and girls in the car. It was shut. We went to another nearby NT place, and went back to Clandon Park on the Sunday, with grandparents, to experience the 'Clandon Comes Alive!' event. As some of you know, I am obsessively visiting National Trust places this year as we have a season ticket, so I am treating them like Munroes to bag. Clandon was the home for a frighteningly large group of reenactors dressed up in posh clothes from some previous century, playing backgammon and the harpsichord and talking about the weather. Just normal Surrey life really. There was a young couple with a baby, dressed up in a long white robe and with a wooden rattle. I suggested it as a wholesome hobby for our family, but R's rather sour look showed me his heart would not be in dressing up as a posh person and wandering around a National Trust residence. In fact, he really hates wandering around stately homes and sees it as the most scarring experience of his childhood, so why he lets me put the girls through it I do not know. H likes asking questions and conjecturing about the past, so she humours me. We spent a long time on the sofa one day this week discussing WW2, reasons for, events of, etc, which stretched my history further than it goes. I described Hitler as 'a bad king who wanted to be king of all the other countries too and did not listen when people told him they didn't want him to be their king.' Hope that passes for all you history bods out there.

H still fascinated by the male members of the Royal family. Discussed whether Prince Harry should go to Iraq with H today (think he is already there, so horses and stable doors spring to mind). Also, why does the Queen not order people's heads be chopped off anymore? And does Prince Phillip do that now? We are still awaiting a reply from the Queen to H's proposals of marriage to any Prince she has spare. Hope its not Philip tho.

Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was that IF you go to a NT place and arrive by public transport, (which I would have done, if it were open on the Friday) you get a £1 voucher to spend in the coffee shop, as long as you spend £2.50.

Now, if I go to about 70 NT places by public transport I will have got back my membership fee. Have not achieved one yet.

We also went to a residence in Esher which is not a NT mansion, but should have a blue plaque hanging on the eaves to show it is the home of the Marsden family. We were guests at a 30th birthday party and were treated to a fabulously raisiny lunch, with salad options to die for and home made meringues that Nigella would be proud of. In fact, forget the blue plaque and order a few Michelin stars or rosettes or whatever.

Party food featured heavily in our bank holiday weekend, as cousin A was one year old and we went to his party too. Great cake in the shape of a chicken and a number 1. Lots of family and friends to catch up with and usual fab hosting by my lovely bro and his lovely wife, A and A. They deserve a Michelin star for the Pimms welcome.

Maybe I should set up my own star rating system, with Pimms availability as a certain star, home made coleslaw and meringues worth one each, Pot pourri in the bathroom another star...

Yesterday I bought a 'day rider' which is always a mistake, as it makes you blase (sp?)about the buses you catch. Waited 10 minutes on one outside my house to get going, got into town via Cairo. Then had a easy hop back over the bridge to Woolston, my next stop. All fine. THEN, a big mistake. I got on a bus which would get to Bursledon road, which is at the other end of Thornhill but ok, as I was going to the Beauty box shop up there. But I didn't realise it went there via Ipswich. Got off when it got faintly near where I wanted to go, as I didn't fancy my chances of it dipping back into Sholing and being in there another century. The moral of the story is: Don't buy a Day rider. If you do, decide you don't need to get anywhere by any time, or go on the number of the bus you know goes where you are going. Simple.

We watched Casino Royale, the best Bond film for ages, possibly ever, in my humble opinion. No stupid techno gadget motorbike moron chases, or ridiculous cars which do everything and are the star. It was clever and had lots of twists, and kindly the baddies were quite easy to spot as they had eye patches or similar. I am not a whizz at poker, or indeed the polka, but just about followed the gambling bits of it. It is a shame they didn't consider Jo Brand as the next Bond. Or do I mean Russell?

Today was very wet (ooh, great for the garden!) and we were scheduled to be picnicking with the Taylor family. We went to their home instead, to sample yet another artistic cake, as Ellie is just 3. It was one of those ones where you stick a Barbie up to her waist in cake and make it look like her skirt. Great! H wants one for her birthday, which is in two months. The invites are already done and she has labelled the party bags. I don't know where she gets her social and organisational skills from but watching her at work makes me realise just how scary I must appear to other less socially organised members of the human race. So, for all the times I have had everything organised before you even knew it was happening, I am sorry. Next time, I will drop you a post it with a list of things to do.