Friday, 28 November 2008

There's a job going, as a 'anti social behavour coordinator' in the New Forest. Clearly, the thugs of the New Forest need a little help getting things together. I could do that job. 'OK you guys, bash the grannies over at the bus stop while I take these guys off to smash the windows at the Chinese.' R said that looking after his tutor group would come under the category of Anti social behaviour coordinator and he was already perfectly qualified.

At school we have studied angels. The children had to write about angels, their own ideas without any input. Most involved haloes, wings, heaven, God, Jesus ('angels look after Jesus because he's the youngest' was a nice comment. But the best most bizarre one was: 'angels live in hotels and eat fruit'. Clearly, he's been watching Charlie's Angels??

On our flights from and to Salzburg, Granny Mary was distinctly unimpressed with the food offered to the girls as 'children's choice' - a cheese and chutney or chicken curry sandwich. She wrote a letter to BA, and the girls included their lists for the chef of what children do like in sandwiches. And, ta da! £100 of vouchers to spend in the duty free on the plane, or you can do it online. another pseudo win, rather like my ipod shuffle which I 'won' for recommending R to the same gym. Had a yummy mummy day today! Went to work for an hour this am, and then Pilates, an introduction to the power plate and a quick dip in the pool before a jacuzzi, steam and sauna. Fridays are turning into my spa days EVERY WEEK! So, after cycling home (up a very steep hill) I made some scones and entertained the lovely Hattie for a cuppa. She had a pot of double cream in the fridge, so along with my homemade strawberry jam, the scones went down well. Did I tell you about last week when I won a metre of chocolate fingers - next to each other sideways, not end to end) and a Horrid Henry annual? All in one day?

Sorry if you didn't win anything this week. I have to say that my winning ways do not extend to the lottery, or worse still scratchcards. I consider them evil and one of the curses of our society, an addiction that attracts the poorest people in our society. In my world, newsagents who sold them would be shut down, instantly.

I saw a sign today about parking in a private car park, it said 'Offenders will be clamped'. which implies to me that the person in the car would be clamped, as a car can surely not itself be considered an offender? Its an interesting question.

I am pleased to say that my tickets for the Keith Harris and Orville production of Dick Whittington at Ferneham Hall have been secure since June, but I have been drumming up sales amongst my thornhill friends. I am gutted to hear that it is the last time EVER that Keith is coming to Fareham. Gutted! He is a fantastic classic cult status hero of the broadcasting world, I would say on a par with Dusty Bin and Jim Bowen. It is such a good panto, don't bother going elsewhere, Fareham has it all.

It is alleged that M and S are having another 20% off day this Thursday. DON'T tell anyone, its a secret. But if you need to do some last minute Xmas shopping (mine all wrapped and have sent some off last week) now is your chance. Who can fail to be delighted with a Lily of the Valley bath set?

Oh! I was on the radio last Sunday! I don't imagine you listen to Georgina Winsor on Radio Solent (not even her mum does) but I was on after Billy Joel and before U2. They were singing, not guests in the studio like me. I was a bit worried that I might blaspheme or something but was only talking about gardening. Was tempted to burst into 'Do they know its Christmas time?' but resisted.

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